Monday, January 1, 2007

Begin the Begin

New Year's Day.

I've been feeling the need to start a new blog, and today seems like the right time.

Things are really good with me now. Very steady. Something clicked over the holidays and I feel as if I'm finally on a stable and secure course.

I'm not one for New Year's resolutions, but I started a diet a couple of days ago. It's difficult to watch what I eat at the firehouse, especially on days like today when I've been detailed to a different station and the cook has choosen pasta, pasta, and more pasta for lunch and dinner; but in those instances I can just eat less and then get the hell out of the kitchen and away from temptation.

Yesterday at work I did light cardio for an hour while I watched a movie on my laptop. It's a great way to work out. I also started lifting again, lightly. Today I'll do more, since this station has a pretty complete gym.

* * * *
I went home for Christmas. It was a pretty nice holiday. Rover flew down on the 26th and we spent the next five days together. We're doing really, really well. Something changed after the baby talk. He still doesn't want to have children, but it was a discussion which had a big impact on him. For the first time, I really feel as if we're really in sync emotionally. And I think I feel more comfortable with and committed to him.

I look at our relationship: how clandestine its beginning, how rocky it was in 2005, and then how nicely it has blossomed over 2006. I've never been in a relationship that has developed so oddly, and so slowly. I think slow is a good thing.

He told me he wants to be good to me (and he has been), and that he's so sorry about how he has treated me in the past, that he knows he hurt me and that he hates thinking about that.

I still have some creeping doubts, but I am trying to keep them at bay.

* * * *
I have applied for a new post at work. It is a lieutenant's (management) position at the 911 center (desk job) with an 18-month committment. I hope I get it (I think). I have been with the fire department for over 11 years now and there has not been one promotional exam!!! The reason for no exams is all the affirmative action controversy that has taken place over the years and the inability of our union to agree with the civil service commission about the results of any exam. Anyhow, I want a promotion. It's time for me to move along, and if this is the only way I can do it, then it is the only way I can do it. I want change. I'll take it in this form (for now).

* * *
Thus begins 2007. Seems like a decent start to me.

1 comment:

sleeplessinoklahoma said...

Happy New Year!!! What a wonderful start to the new year. Sounds as if things are going your way, finally, & I am so very happy for you. Good vibes for the new job, for all your changes to come & blessings on you & Rover.

Blessed be...