Tuesday, February 20, 2007

I Come From Alabama

Just got back from an all-expense-paid week in Alabama, compliments of our Federal Government. I took an Emergency Incident Management Systems class. It was dry but interesting. Can't say much for what I saw of Alabama, however, not that I saw much.

* * * *
Life is good. Stable. Calm.

I'm back into a groove: taking classes again, working some overtime, exercising with consistency, feeling present and able to concentrate.

* * * *
Menopause is treating me very well. Absolutely no mood swings. That's the most important element. Unfortunately, my libido leave something to be desired, and then there are the hot flashes.

Hot flashes. My god! For anyone who knows what I'm talking about, imagine what it's like to have a hot flash while wearing full fire-fighting bunker gear--which is already like wearing a blanket--with gloves, a hood which fits closely around one's neck and over one's head and then a helmet. Talk about heat exhaustion! For those of you who can't imagine, consider yourselves lucky.

* * * *
Rover has begun renovations on his rental property. His aim is to have it finished in three to four years. He has asked me to come live with him. He has also stated that at some point in time before he retires we should become domestic partners so I'm entitled to collect part of his pension after he dies.

He says he's in this for the long haul. Last night he promised he'd never break my heart.

It makes me happy to hear him talk like that. Still, I remain skeptical. I don't believe or trust much in the future or in promises such as his. I've just been through it too many times to have that kind of faith. But his sentiments are lovely and for now we can go through the motions of planning for a future together. I will continue to live my life for today, not for tomorrow. I can't do that anymore. After divorcing RacerEx, after all the hurt and depression, after the struggle and sadness of coming up with Rover, I am a little damaged, a little wary. I am not bitter. Like I said, I just don't believe anymore.

Anyhow, off to Starbucks.